英语笑话大全(英语笑话大全 爆笑100字)

前沿拓展:

英语笑话大全

某**人,略懂英语。一天,他在公交车上不小心踩到了一老外的脚,于是很抱歉的说:”I’m sorry.”老外也挺客气,说:”I’m sorry, too”**人:”I’m sorry three.”老外很纳闷:”What are you sorry for?”**人:”I’m sorry five!”
求采纳


1、The Fish Net

Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?

A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.

鱼网

你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安? 老师发问道。

把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。 小女孩回答道。

2、The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.

I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too…..

新老师

9月1日, 乔治放学回到家里。

乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗? 妈妈问。

妈妈,我不喜欢,因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。

3、A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.

"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"

一个律师打开他的宝马车门,突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了,警察赶到现场,律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。

“警察同志,看看他们把我的车弄的!!!”律师哀怨地说。

“你们律师真是物质至上,我很不舒服!”警察反驳说,“你这么关心你可恶的宝马,你可能没有注意到你的左胳膊也没了。”

律师终于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀,“天哪,我的劳力士手表在哪儿?”

拓展知识:

英语笑话大全

英语短笑话大全带翻译

  当听别人说笑话的时候觉得不大好笑,还会觉得冷很冷,可是自己看的时候,却笑到不行,你有这样的经历么?以下的英语短笑话大全带翻译,希望能让你欢乐笑不停。

  英语短笑话大全带翻译一:

  Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. It read "Thank you for not looking in the bathtub."

  不速之客就在路上,我妈妈,一个完美的`家庭主妇,正忙里忙外地整理。她分配给我爸和我哥哥的任务是打扫供客人使用的浴室。一会儿之后,当她去检查的时候,她吃惊了,曾经一度杂乱的房间瞬间就被打扫干净了。接着她看到浴帘上有一张纸条,纸条上写着:“谢谢你没往浴缸里看。”

  英语短笑话大全带翻译二:A preacher is buying a parrot 传教士买鹦鹉

  A preacher is buying a parrot

  Are you sure it doesnt scream, yell, or swear? asked the preacher.

  Oh absolutely. Its a religious parrot, the storekeeper assures him.

  Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lords prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm.

  Wonderful! says the preacher, but what happens if you pull both strings?

  I fall off my perch, you stupid fool! screeched the parrot.

  一个传教士在买鹦鹉

  “你确信它不会尖叫,大叫或诅咒别人吗?”传教士问。

  “哦,绝对不会。它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。”店主保证说。

  “你看见它腿上的这些细绳了吗?当你拉动右面的这根,它会背诵天主经,当你拉动左面的那根,它会背诵赞美诗”

  “太棒了!”传教士说,“但是如果我同时拉动两条绳子,会发生什么呢?”

  “我会从树干上掉下去的,你这个笨蛋!”鹦鹉尖声说道。

  英语短笑话大全带翻译三:吝啬鬼的聚会

  The Mean Mans Party

  The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

  "Why use my elbow and foot?"

  "Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

  吝啬鬼的聚会

  一个声名狼藉的小气鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说:“你上到五楼,用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了后,再用你的脚把门推开。”

  “为什么我要用我的肘和脚呢?”

  “天哪!” 吝啬鬼回答,“你总不会空着手来吧?”

  英语短笑话大全带翻译四:

  While eating in a restaurant, I reprimanded my four-year-old son for speaking with his mouth full . "Mump umn Kmpfhm," was all I heard.

  "Drew," I scolded, "no one can understand a word you're saying.

  "He says he wants some ketchup," my hu**and said calmly . A woman sitting nearby leaned over and asked, "How in the world did you understand him?"

  "I'm a dentist," my hu**and explained.

  在饭店吃饭的时候,我申斥我4岁的儿子,因为他满嘴食物在说话。“喔、呢”,我听到的就是这些。 “祖,”我责备道,“没人明白你在说什么。” “他说他要一些番茄酱,”我丈夫平静地说。坐在旁边的一位妇女靠过来问道:“你究竟如何明白他的话的呢?” “我是牙医。”我丈夫解释道。

;

前沿拓展:

英语笑话大全

某**人,略懂英语。一天,他在公交车上不小心踩到了一老外的脚,于是很抱歉的说:”I’m sorry.”老外也挺客气,说:”I’m sorry, too”**人:”I’m sorry three.”老外很纳闷:”What are you sorry for?”**人:”I’m sorry five!”
求采纳


1、The Fish Net

Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?

A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.

鱼网

你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安? 老师发问道。

把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。 小女孩回答道。

2、The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.

I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too…..

新老师

9月1日, 乔治放学回到家里。

乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗? 妈妈问。

妈妈,我不喜欢,因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。

3、A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.

"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"

一个律师打开他的宝马车门,突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了,警察赶到现场,律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。

“警察同志,看看他们把我的车弄的!!!”律师哀怨地说。

“你们律师真是物质至上,我很不舒服!”警察反驳说,“你这么关心你可恶的宝马,你可能没有注意到你的左胳膊也没了。”

律师终于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀,“天哪,我的劳力士手表在哪儿?”

拓展知识:

英语笑话大全

英语短笑话大全带翻译

  当听别人说笑话的时候觉得不大好笑,还会觉得冷很冷,可是自己看的时候,却笑到不行,你有这样的经历么?以下的英语短笑话大全带翻译,希望能让你欢乐笑不停。

  英语短笑话大全带翻译一:

  Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. It read "Thank you for not looking in the bathtub."

  不速之客就在路上,我妈妈,一个完美的`家庭主妇,正忙里忙外地整理。她分配给我爸和我哥哥的任务是打扫供客人使用的浴室。一会儿之后,当她去检查的时候,她吃惊了,曾经一度杂乱的房间瞬间就被打扫干净了。接着她看到浴帘上有一张纸条,纸条上写着:“谢谢你没往浴缸里看。”

  英语短笑话大全带翻译二:A preacher is buying a parrot 传教士买鹦鹉

  A preacher is buying a parrot

  Are you sure it doesnt scream, yell, or swear? asked the preacher.

  Oh absolutely. Its a religious parrot, the storekeeper assures him.

  Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lords prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm.

  Wonderful! says the preacher, but what happens if you pull both strings?

  I fall off my perch, you stupid fool! screeched the parrot.

  一个传教士在买鹦鹉

  “你确信它不会尖叫,大叫或诅咒别人吗?”传教士问。

  “哦,绝对不会。它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。”店主保证说。

  “你看见它腿上的这些细绳了吗?当你拉动右面的这根,它会背诵天主经,当你拉动左面的那根,它会背诵赞美诗”

  “太棒了!”传教士说,“但是如果我同时拉动两条绳子,会发生什么呢?”

  “我会从树干上掉下去的,你这个笨蛋!”鹦鹉尖声说道。

  英语短笑话大全带翻译三:吝啬鬼的聚会

  The Mean Mans Party

  The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

  "Why use my elbow and foot?"

  "Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

  吝啬鬼的聚会

  一个声名狼藉的小气鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说:“你上到五楼,用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了后,再用你的脚把门推开。”

  “为什么我要用我的肘和脚呢?”

  “天哪!” 吝啬鬼回答,“你总不会空着手来吧?”

  英语短笑话大全带翻译四:

  While eating in a restaurant, I reprimanded my four-year-old son for speaking with his mouth full . "Mump umn Kmpfhm," was all I heard.

  "Drew," I scolded, "no one can understand a word you're saying.

  "He says he wants some ketchup," my hu**and said calmly . A woman sitting nearby leaned over and asked, "How in the world did you understand him?"

  "I'm a dentist," my hu**and explained.

  在饭店吃饭的时候,我申斥我4岁的儿子,因为他满嘴食物在说话。“喔、呢”,我听到的就是这些。 “祖,”我责备道,“没人明白你在说什么。” “他说他要一些番茄酱,”我丈夫平静地说。坐在旁边的一位妇女靠过来问道:“你究竟如何明白他的话的呢?” “我是牙医。”我丈夫解释道。

;

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